The Soft Play Code of Conduct

We love this ‘soft play code of conduct’ from award-winning blogger WallyMummy, who has 22 rules to keep you sane in the soft play world:

1. Leave your dignity at the door. This is war.
2. Wear sensible clothing. i.e. leggings and a sports-top… oh hang on… that’s what you wear every day. Ok. Wear that.
3. And ‘black-up’.
4. Remember. Territory is everything.
5. Get organised. Upon arrival scan the area for the ideal vantage point and discuss tactics with your fellow mums via a closed Whats App group.
6. Assign a group of three mums to cover the slide area and send two to the upper levels as look-outs, while you man the ball-pit exit and simultaneously ‘bagsy’ two highchairs. #skillz
7. Move in packs and take out the fellow under fives first. They’re smaller, weaker and their spirits can be broken with the mere promise of cake.
8. Sleep and eat* in shifts so as not to relinquish territory.
9. *However, don’t open a packet of baby-snacks in plain sight of an unruly gang of under fives. You will be violently and quite possibly fatally assaulted. Rice-cake-rage is no joke. 
10. Also – never leave a sippy cup* unattended. I’ve seen mums lose fingers… and eyes… and teeth…
11. …

You can read the full list of soft play ‘rules’ on WallyMummy’s original blog post: The soft-play code of conduct